Becoming an illegal alien

[lions_den]

Someone sent this to me in a email and I thought it was funny. It is a letter to a senator.

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[font="Courier New"]June 27, 2006

The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
309 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes,
As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal
Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I
have contacted the Immigration and Naturalization Service in an
effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien
and they referred me to you.

My reasons for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by
the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this
bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been
in the United States for five years, what I need to do to become
a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of
the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am
anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it
out. Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have
had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of
avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine.
Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively?
This would yield an excellent result for me and my family
because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my
daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her
law school applications.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become
illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary
forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your
assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
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[IV]

I had a good laugh with that one. Let's not forget about all of the free services one could receive as an illegal alien...like freemedical care for instance. Personally, I'd stay away from the free housing though. To many rats and roaches.

[Pavel]

It sounds like the way to get it is through the equal protection clause in the Constitution. If anyone wants to, they can sue through 42 USC 1983 and have the preferential treatment granted to them. It is unfair that illegal aliens are given preferential treatment.

(By the way, yes that was a joke and yes, I have got to be kididng you).

[IV]

*lol*

[GoodDay]

If one is looking for free room and board, Free medical all you must do is make sure you get prison time for commiting a crime and Wallah. At taxpayers expense too.