Comparison of Religious Theory in the Late 20th Century

[veda]

Comparison of Religious Theory in the Late 20th Century
Capitalism:

He who dies with the most toys, wins.

Hari Krishna:

He who plays with the most toys, wins.

Catholicism:

He who denies himself the most toys, wins.

Anglican:

They were our toys first.

Greek Orthodox:

No, they were OURS first.

Branch Davidians:

He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.

Atheism:

There is no toy maker.

Polytheism:

There are many toy makers.

Evolutionism:

The toys made themselves.

Church of Christ, Scientist:

We are the toys.

Communism:

Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to hell if we catch you selling yours.

B'Hai:

All toys are just fine with us.

Amish:

Toys with batteries are surely a sin.

Taoism:

The doll is as important as the dumptruck.

Mormonism:

Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.

Voodoo:

Let me borrow that doll for a second.

Hedonism:

To heck with the rule book!? Let's play!

Hinduism:

He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.

7th Day Adventist:

He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.

Church of Christ:

He whose toys make music, loses.

Baptist:

Once played, always played.

Jehovah's Witnesses:

He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.

Pentecostalism:

He whose toys can talk, wins.

Existentialism:

Toys are a figment of your imagination.

Confucianism:

Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.

Non-denominationalism:

We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play with them.

Agnosticism:

It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of difference.

[IV]

Hey wait....that's not fair. I don't see one for Molokanism.

[veda]

I am not clever enough to think of one IV..... Care to give it a shot?

[Pavel]

How about this one:

Molokanism: I know what you've been doing with your toys.

[IV]

*rofl*

[Disciple]

Unitarian Universalism: "Everyone has their own way to win, we are all right."

Pragmatism: "He who dies with the most toys, still dies."

Televangelism: "He who calls the number on the screen right now with a visa or mastercard wins."

Molokanism - Group 1:
He who had kctini could play with whatever toys he wants and still go to heaven.

Molokanism - Group 2:
"He who ..." "Don't tell me what toys I can play with, I know what toys you played with when you were younger."

Molokanism - Group 3:
"He who's toys don't know what they are talking about but still speak russian win."

Molokanism - Group 4:
"Beware of outside toys, they are of the world."
"Yeah. The false toys of the world are creeping in and taking away our children."
"Hey I have an idea let's not let them play with any toys, then they'll be okay."

[Tim Efseaff]

Molokanism: Did you read the ingredients of that toy ?

[veda]

*wow**JD**poke**rofl*





NIIiiiice !