Motivationals I use at work

[RedOctober]

Motivationals I use at work

1. Don't put off till tomorrow what you can put off till next week.

2. Never keep a clean desk, it means you aren't busy.

3. Too much work? Pawn it off on the intern, they think the experience is great and they don't get paid.

4. Dealing with a smug IT guy? Tell him you have a report due ASAP to the President and if he gets things done quickly, then you WON'T tell him about the shoddy response time and the irresponsible IT department not keeping equipment upgraded. Trust me, it won't matter if it was your mistake to begin with.

5. Telling people around you you're dieting will exponentially increase the amount of birthday cake people offer you.

6. When an incident occurs and blame will likely follow, take ownership of the problem and blame the poor schmuck in another office you never met accept via e-mail and on the phone. Trust me, they are doing the same thing to you right now.

7. Open an excel spread sheet loaded with complex formulas and calculations and take a screen shot of it. Then make it your desktop background, that way it looks like you are always working.

8. Be rude as much as possible when people come to your desk asking for info. If your nice, its just an invitation to keep interrupting you from getting your own work done.

9. Never ask a head honcho at a meeting a question, it makes them feel important and are likely to give you a 15-20 minute monologue on it AND they notice you more which is always followed up by more work.

10. Keep a coffee pot and adequate stash of coffee at your desk. Nothing will start your day off worse than if you run out and have to pay the inflated prices at the employee cafeteria.