New Terrorist Group Warning

[IV]

NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F.
Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while
in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and
a calculator.

At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes
the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.

He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with
carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a problem for us",
the Attorney General said. "They desire solutions by means and
extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute
values."

They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as
'unknowns', but we have determined that they belong to a common
denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.


As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to
every triangle".

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have
given us more fingers and toes."