Quotes

[SadaSoCool]

**I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want -- an adorable pancreas?

~ Jean Kerr, Short Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes

**A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

- Sir Winston Churchill Famous Quotes, "Short Funny Quotes"

**For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- HL Mencken Short Funny Quotes, Daily Quotes, Famous Quotes

**Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain Funny Quotes, Daily Quotes, Famous Quotes, Short Funny Quotes


**Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions.
Albert Einstein Short Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Daily Quotes, Funny Quotes

**I'm so rich, I wish I had a dime for every dime I have.

Famous Movie Quotes. Short Funny Quotes on Money. Daily Quotes

**Albert Einstein Quotes: If my theory of relativity is proven successful, Germany will claim me as a German and France will declare that I am a citizen of the world. Should my theory prove untrue, France will say that I am a German and Germany will declare that I am a Jew.

Race and Racism. Short Funny Quotes by Albert Einstein, Famous Quotes, Daily Quotes

**When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
Rodney Dangerfield Short Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Daily Quotes

**My favorite animal is steak.
- Fran Lebowitz Funny Quotes, Daily Quotes, Famous Quotes


**My husband taught me housekeeping; when I get divorced, I keep the house.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor Short Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Love Quotes

[Pavel]

One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some
fantastic pictures.
-- G. W. Bush; U.S. News and World Report; Jan 3, 2000
They misunderestimated me.
-- Attributed to George W. Bush, Nov 2000

Bush/Cheney '04: This time, elect us!

As many of you know, the U.S. is putting together a consitution for Iraq.
Why don't we just give them ours? Think about it -- it was written by
very smart people, it's served us for well over two hundred years, and
besides, we're not using it anymore.
-- Jay Leno

"Aim towards the Enemy."
--Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

"If you see a bomb technician running, follow him."
--U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop

For he who lives more lives than one More deaths than one must die.
-- Oscar Wilde

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
--Zsa Zsa Gabor

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
--Ed Furgol

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way
through Congress.
--Will Rogers

Don't worry about avoiding temptation... As you grow older, it will avoid
you.
--Winston Churchill

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good
ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
--George Burns

If the world were a logical place, men would have ridden side saddle.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a
whole box to start a barbecue?

Basic Flying Rules
1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
2. Do not go near the edges of it.
3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground,
buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more
difficult to fly there.

I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
--Will Rogers

I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.

[Pavel]

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
-Jennifer Unlimited-

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr-

No one is listening until you fart.

A staffer told George Bush that Vice President Cheney has acute angina,
and the president said men don't have anginas.

George Bush was told that 3 Brazillians died in Iraq last week and he sunk his head in his hands and said "How many are in a brazillian?" (okay, this last one was just a joke I heard, but it's still funny.)

[GoodDay]

"Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all."
John Fitzgerald Kennedy